Chapter 3
I arrived at the Ashford estate at exactly eleven.
My mother drove me, though she refused to get out of the car. She gripped the steering wheel and stared straight ahead, her knuckles white.
"I'll be parked on the street," she said. "Call me the second you need to leave."
I nodded and opened the door.
The walk from the driveway to the front entrance was perhaps forty steps.
It took me nearly three minutes.
Every step sent pain radiating up through my legs, through my spine, settling deep in the hollowed-out places where my marrow used to be whole.
By the time I reached the door, I was sweating.
I had chosen a cashmere turtleneck, the way Victoria suggested. It hid the bruises on my neck from the last IV. I wore concealer thick enough to mask the jaundice creeping across my cheeks. I even managed lipstick, though my hands shook so badly the line was uneven.
From a distance, I probably looked almost normal.
Up close, I looked like a woman dressed for her own funeral.
Victoria opened the door before I could knock.
"Oh, good. You're early." She glanced me over, then frowned slightly. "You've gotten so thin. Are you eating?"
The concern was performative. I could see it in the way her eyes slid past me the moment she finished speaking.
"Come. They'll be here soon."
She led me into the living room.
I sat on the leather sofa where Alexander and I used to watch movies together on Saturday nights. Where he used to pull me into his lap and press his face against my neck and whisper that he would marry me before he turned thirty.
He was thirty-one now.
Marrying someone else.
At noon, the front door opened.
I heard his voice before I saw him.
"Mom, the flight was brutal. Meredith slept the whole way, but I couldn'tâ"
He stopped mid-sentence.
Because he had seen me.
For one fraction of a second, something flickered across Alexander's face. Something raw and unguarded. Something that looked almost like pain.
Then it was gone.
His jaw tightened.
His eyes went cold.
"What is she doing here?" he asked, looking at Victoria.
Not at me.
He would not look at me.
Victoria stepped forward with a gentle smile.
"I invited Sophia to help with the wedding planning. She knows your taste better than anyone, darling. And Meredith agreed it would be helpful to have someone local coordinate things."
Behind Alexander, a woman stepped into the doorway.
Meredith Chen was beautiful in the effortless way that made other women feel like they were trying too hard. Tall. Graceful. Hair like black silk. A ring on her finger the size of a small planet.
She smiled at me warmly.
"You must be Sophia. Victoria has told me so much about you."
I wondered exactly what Victoria had told her.
Probably the version where I was a gold-digging ex who stole money and broke Alexander's heart.
"It's nice to meet you," I said.
My voice came out steadier than I expected.
Alexander still had not looked at me.
"I don't want her involved," he said flatly.
Victoria touched his arm.
"Alexander. It was five years ago. She's clearly moved on. Can't you be civil?"
Then Meredith stepped forward and looped her arm through his.
"Babe, don't be difficult. I really could use the help. I don't know any vendors here, and your mom said Sophia used to be an event coordinator."
Finally, Alexander's gaze shifted to me.
Cold. Distant. Like I was a stranger he vaguely recognized from a past life.
"Fine," he said. "But keep your distance."
I smiled.
"Of course."
That night, after my mother helped me back into bed, I cried so hard I could not breathe.
Not because he was cruel.
But because for that one fraction of a second, before the ice came down, I had seen it.
He still felt something.
And knowing that made everything worse.
My mother drove me, though she refused to get out of the car. She gripped the steering wheel and stared straight ahead, her knuckles white.
"I'll be parked on the street," she said. "Call me the second you need to leave."
I nodded and opened the door.
The walk from the driveway to the front entrance was perhaps forty steps.
It took me nearly three minutes.
Every step sent pain radiating up through my legs, through my spine, settling deep in the hollowed-out places where my marrow used to be whole.
By the time I reached the door, I was sweating.
I had chosen a cashmere turtleneck, the way Victoria suggested. It hid the bruises on my neck from the last IV. I wore concealer thick enough to mask the jaundice creeping across my cheeks. I even managed lipstick, though my hands shook so badly the line was uneven.
From a distance, I probably looked almost normal.
Up close, I looked like a woman dressed for her own funeral.
Victoria opened the door before I could knock.
"Oh, good. You're early." She glanced me over, then frowned slightly. "You've gotten so thin. Are you eating?"
The concern was performative. I could see it in the way her eyes slid past me the moment she finished speaking.
"Come. They'll be here soon."
She led me into the living room.
I sat on the leather sofa where Alexander and I used to watch movies together on Saturday nights. Where he used to pull me into his lap and press his face against my neck and whisper that he would marry me before he turned thirty.
He was thirty-one now.
Marrying someone else.
At noon, the front door opened.
I heard his voice before I saw him.
"Mom, the flight was brutal. Meredith slept the whole way, but I couldn'tâ"
He stopped mid-sentence.
Because he had seen me.
For one fraction of a second, something flickered across Alexander's face. Something raw and unguarded. Something that looked almost like pain.
Then it was gone.
His jaw tightened.
His eyes went cold.
"What is she doing here?" he asked, looking at Victoria.
Not at me.
He would not look at me.
Victoria stepped forward with a gentle smile.
"I invited Sophia to help with the wedding planning. She knows your taste better than anyone, darling. And Meredith agreed it would be helpful to have someone local coordinate things."
Behind Alexander, a woman stepped into the doorway.
Meredith Chen was beautiful in the effortless way that made other women feel like they were trying too hard. Tall. Graceful. Hair like black silk. A ring on her finger the size of a small planet.
She smiled at me warmly.
"You must be Sophia. Victoria has told me so much about you."
I wondered exactly what Victoria had told her.
Probably the version where I was a gold-digging ex who stole money and broke Alexander's heart.
"It's nice to meet you," I said.
My voice came out steadier than I expected.
Alexander still had not looked at me.
"I don't want her involved," he said flatly.
Victoria touched his arm.
"Alexander. It was five years ago. She's clearly moved on. Can't you be civil?"
Then Meredith stepped forward and looped her arm through his.
"Babe, don't be difficult. I really could use the help. I don't know any vendors here, and your mom said Sophia used to be an event coordinator."
Finally, Alexander's gaze shifted to me.
Cold. Distant. Like I was a stranger he vaguely recognized from a past life.
"Fine," he said. "But keep your distance."
I smiled.
"Of course."
That night, after my mother helped me back into bed, I cried so hard I could not breathe.
Not because he was cruel.
But because for that one fraction of a second, before the ice came down, I had seen it.
He still felt something.
And knowing that made everything worse.